Mathematician Proves Time Travel Impossible--"Keep Hope Alive", says Tinkerer's Guild

A mathematician near the Chicago Radius

went public with his newest discovery--a proof

against time travel. Dr. Lumvatch, who you

might remember from his life-enhancing work

on air quality, announced his work two days

ago--and has been taking criticism ever since.

Dr. Lumvatch refused to comment.

Sina Korv, the leader of Restoring Critical

Conditions--or, as we know it, the RCClub, had

this to say: "Time travel was the only realistic

hope left for eliminating the domes. Now its

gone. What do we do now?"

Still, there is hope--at least according to the

Tinkerer's Guild: "Every mechanist worth his

weight in water knows thorough steps must be

taken to test every creation before it goes on

the market. Mistakes are easy to make, and one

could be found in Dr. Lumvatch's proof." says

Mr. Voyo, the spokesman for the Tinkerer's

Guild.

MiG, or the Mathematicians in Governmnet

lobby, agrees. "In my opinion, Lumvatch made a

mistake, announcing [his proof] before peer

review. There's so much buzz we might have to

lock down the ports. It will take months to check

his proof, especially if the rumors that he used

the Wrigley 3 are true." said an anonymus

representitive of MiG.

The Wrigley 3 is a set of state-of-the-art

multiframes that is normally used for sports

statistics, odds, predictions, and the like. Usually

they're off-limits to the public, but famous

mathematicians and scientists, who use the

processing power for maintenance of the tunnels

and domes, are allowed access.

--Xaiver Kubler, NMD news